Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
