I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize