We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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