But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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