So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
