Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
