YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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