Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The air taste purple.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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