You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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