hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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