I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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