Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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