He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
