Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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