You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
