I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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