You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize