bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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