yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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