too bad you live with your parents still
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
