His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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