i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
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you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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