Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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