There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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