My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
