3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Randomize
