when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
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