he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
