How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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