What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
