And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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