don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
