So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.