I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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