Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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