my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
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I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
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I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
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