I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
