You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
