The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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