She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize