i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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