Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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