Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Swine flu is the new snow day.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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