K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
