onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
