Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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