4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
