just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
