i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
