I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
