was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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