Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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