Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
