I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
