So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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