3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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