loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
