WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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