So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We had sex on a dog bed..
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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