im drinking this country out of the recession.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
what day is it and did you see me today?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore