i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy