barbara walters just said penis...
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."