you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
