apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week