Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
