this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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