hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
i've created a new STD.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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