if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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