You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
