My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
