Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
