I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
